Get Your Ex Husband Back
You’ve already been divorced for some time but it’s just not working for you personally. Some time past, you and your ex were disappointed with one another and divorce turned out the only real solution. At this moment though, you see that was certainly not the perfect solution in any respect, and you like to get him back into your life. If perhaps you could have reason to think your ex husband is also disappointed, it’s a ‘no brainer’. Simply initiate a discussion in order to let him know your feelings. If on the other hand, he appears to be pleased about the situation as it is, you’ll need to work so you can get your ex-husband back again.
It’s probable that he feels very much like you, nonetheless his pride won’t let him show his feelings for fear of your rejection. He could possibly be putting up a heroic facade for you, but if there are some older children involved, they should be capable of giving you a broader insight into his true feelings. Whenever they go to their dad, they can see into his life and feelings much better than you can see from a distance. A letter of warning here though - Watch out how you get the help of your children. Don’t place them in a position of spying, or prefering sides with one parent or the other. Placing them in the midst of this tends to do untold emotional harm, and culminate with alienating them from both parents.
Who was at fault during the divorce? Who started the proceedings? Most likely you were each at fault except in cases where there seems to be a serious violation of trust or an ‘unforgivable’ affair. In any case, as you seem to want to get your ex husband back, you appear to have forgiven him undoubtedly. So if you are the guilty party, any idea what it will take to be able to suceed in getting him back ? Was the matter a lack of ability to clear up small problems right up until they grew and grew into somewhat impossible obstacles? You will need to pin point the problems, discover the cause, and make up a system to deal with the problems.
Otherwise, fixing your relationship will be pointless; those issues will occur and you’d most likely get it wrong just as before.
Quite possibly the most prevalent reasons for divorce are thought to be:
No communication
Money
Parenting Styles
Ambition (or lack of it)
External influences (family/friends)
Drugs/Alcoholism/Abuse
The last item listed is the most troublesome. This demands a specialist. The probabilities of fixing this on your own are generally almost zilch.
The first five causes nevertheless tend to be things which can be worked out as time passes if both parties are willing. Typically the first one, communication is the key. At the time you are able to sit down and calmly, respectfully talk about how the relationship went bad, you can generate a plan to get your ex-husband back. Even if you don’t make your own motivation known to him in the beginning, when you finally listen to exactly what his trouble was with you in addition to the marriage, it will be easy to initiate work on your own to improve yourself and/or your habits. After he welcomes an improvement in you, he’s going to come to soften and be more open to working things out.
If the divorce was a particularly terrible affair which in turn left the two of you bruised and hurting, may very well not be on speaking terms. If you have children, he most likely has visiting privileges in which require face to fact encounters any time he picks them up. This is the better occasion to demonstrate a change of heart. If you make an effort to exhibit kindness and generosity during these occasions, you might be opening a door to a lot more conversations from now on. When you’re serious about wanting to get your ex-husband back, don’t hasten things take it slowly. The problems didn’t occur instantaneously, and neither will the winning your ex back.
If you make a major attempt at changing your own objectionable behaviors, he’ll almost certainly surely notice; if not, the family will explain to him. He’ll begin to see you in a more favorable light. As soon as you perceive this happening, initiate a private meeting where you’ll talk. A feasible excuse could be to examine the children’s future. Perhaps invite him to lunch at a quiet place. Some place which in turn holds good memories for the both of you could be ideal.
If you think maybe the meeting is going your way and he might react favorably to your idea to get back together again, just lay your cards on the table. Tell him you think the divorce was obviously a mistake but you would like to get back together. Don’t suggest “for the children’s sake”. Wanting to use his love for the children as a good solid cause so you can get your ex-husband back is definitely a dirty strategy. The reason for getting together must be because you love each other and need a happy life with each other. If ever the marriage is unhappy, the family are usually miserable.
Talk over the reasons why you need to get back together again. In the instance that his actions prompted the divorce, give him your total forgiveness. If you were the culprit, acknowledge and sincerely ask for his forgiveness.
If he won’t speak to you, he definitely is not able to even hear you out. The first thing to do here is hold off. Carry on working on your own improvement. Try to be active, get yourself a gym membership, take up an interest, etc. You should never show yourself as desperate or helpless. Having said that, don’t be aggressive. Each time you see him, always be sincerely friendly not to mention show interest in him and his life. Even if you don’t get your ex-husband back, he’ll remain the father of your children.
Leave no stone unturned if you really want to get your ex husband back. In cases where you were not able to achieve the reconciliation you hope for, you will at least know you tried your very best. If things didn’t go according to plan, resolve to begin building a new life for yourself and grow to be the best woman you can be.
Karen Brocksmith is the author and founder of the website http://troubledrelationship.org giving tips and insights on many relationship issues and situations such as marriage, divorce, dating etc for both men and woman. Please vist our website and get a free ebook.